The Climb

As I walked through Drug Mart yesterday afternoon, I recognized “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus playing over the speakers. Consequently as I sat down last night to write my blog entry, about an hour later, I kept internally singing fragments of Cyrus’s song over and over again. After the initial frustration of being unable to stop singing the song passed, I realized that Cyrus’s song perfectly reflects my experiences in AP English and my personal transformation as a result of Ms. Serensky. After receiving my first graded essays junior year, I became discouraged. I figured that I would never learn to write and that I would “fail” AP English. However I worked hard and told myself  “I gotta keep trying.” Soon thereafter I acquired my first Ms. Serensky sticker. Through the numerous in-class discussions this year and last, I have become more comfortable with public speaking. I have learned not only to speak my mind but also to become assertive. When the daily discussions first began, I felt reluctant to talk after being cut off by a classmate once or twice. These discussions served as that “uphill battle [that]/Sometimes [I’ll] have to lose.” Although my participation grades were not always what I hoped, the discussions taught me numerous life lessons. The challenging in-class essays have opened my eyes to the fact that I can answer any question with patience, hard work and determination. Some questions might “knock me down” at first, but I have learned that if I focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses and follow Ms. Serensky’s advice, everything will work out fine and I will succeed. I never realized until now, when reading through the lyrics of Cyrus’s song, that the arduous, seemingly impossible moments and assignments are the ones I remember most fondly. I certainly struggled through my first out-of-class AP English essay about Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, but I realize now that those struggles in learning how to write an essay and the mental breakdowns I had to overcome, taught me not only how to write a good essay but also how to manage stress and deal with my own problems.  I know that as a result of Ms. Serensky’s encouragement, motivation and lessons that there’s a new me leaving CFHS, ready to accomplish my goals and ambitions not matter how seemingly difficult the climb may be.

The Climb

Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming but

There's a voice inside my head sayin,

You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking but I

Got to keep trying

Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes they knock me down but

No I'm not breaking

The pain I'm knowing

But these are the moments that

I'm going to remember most yeah

Just got to keep going

And I,

I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

Keep on moving

Keep climbing

Keep the faith baby

It's all about

It's all about

The climb

Keep the faith

Keep your faith

Farewell to All Things AP English

Dear AP English classmates,

As senior year draws to an end, I am forced to say goodbye not only to CFHS and the teachers I have had over the past four years, but also to the select group to which I belong, the “AP English nerds.” I remember vividly the first day of AP English junior year. As I hesitantly walked into Ms. Serensky’s room, shaking in fear, I sat down in the first open desk I stumbled upon and glanced around the room. Everyone looked petrified. Soon, Ms. Serensky passed out a piece of paper with an ox in the top right-hand corner. She made a slight joke and everyone giggled nervously. Now, after two years of being yoked to notes in the margins, SOAPSTones, Data Sheets, Poetry Papers, blog entries and in-class essays, we are about to be released, set free to pursue our dreams. Although I may have complained (sometimes incessantly) about sacrificing my social life to AP English, it has truly been worth it. We entered the first year of AP English as individuals but now have found support, encouragement and challenge through our experiences together. Although I will not miss the competition for air-time, the competition for the most lengthy out of class assignments nor the group induced panic prior to completion of each assignment, I thank all of you for two amazing years of memories, growth and stimulation.

F arewell to:

A ll the laughs

R eceiving quote sheets from Ms. Serensky
E arning special stickers

W icked good cackle

E xcitement at beating the Dream Team

L ollipops and a life story
L aboring over Data Sheets

A mazingly complicated poems

P ainfully quiet lockdown drills

E verlasting memories

N ights of brainstorming for blogs

G raded in-class essays

L engthy literary analysis

I nterrupting people to gain participation points

S imultaneous disappointment

H ate for it all to end- it was the best decision I made in high school.

Thank you,

Emily 

Come Nerds, Come!

Top Ten Reasons to Take AP English:

1. Stickers. By taking AP English, you have the opportunity to receive much coveted stickers from Ms. Serensky. These special stickers are in tremendous demand and require numerous hours of hard work and dedication to receive, but the feelings of accomplishment, success and pride you feel when you receive a sticker at the top of your paper are phenomenal.

2. Competitions. Taking AP English allows you to compete with your classmates in more ways than you ever thought possible. The Multiple Choice Game, an intense battle for extra credit points, seems to be one of the more enjoyable competitions in AP English. But, there are many more. In AP English, you can compete against your classmates to see who’s data sheet is longer, who wrote more for their in-class essay, who was quoted in Bobbie’s Blog Banter, who got a better grade on the latest paper and so many more. The competitive fun never ends.

3. Self-confidence. By taking AP English, you unleash a part of yourself you have never experienced before. After a few months of Ms. Serensky’s reminder that you can “write well and intelligently.” you begin to believe in your writing skills, believe in your public speaking and interrupting abilities and also believe that you can tackle any writing prompt thrown your way.

4. The Cackle. Taking AP English allows you to experience Ms. Serensky’s marvelous cackle daily from within the very room in which it is produced. This is a highly contagious laugh and not to be missed. Her laugh is one-of-a-kind, and unless directed at you, utterly hilarious, a sure reason to take AP English.

5. Unity. From the first day of AP English 11, when all students feel intimidated and terrified, you form a bond with your classmates which remains strong through senior year. These are the people who will understand all of your problems, troubles and fears. Although, when you attempt to console each other regarding assignments, you will inevitably send each other into a panic, at least these people are there for you.

6. Stress. AP English teaches you how to deal with stress like no other class in high school. Although the first data sheet may seem like an endless amount of work when you have four other AP classes which also require work, by the last data sheet you will have learned how to budget your time, work ahead and deal with the stress. Dealing with the stress is inevitable because if you do not, you will surely lose all of your friends (non AP English friends, that is) as I can guarantee you that they do not care what sections of the long data sheet you have left to complete.

7. Pressure. Similar to stress, AP English teaches you how to deal with pressure. I have never felt more pressured to succeed that I have in AP English. From day one, Ms. Serensky sets high expectations that you will be terrified not to meet. The most pressure- filled days are the days in which Ms. Serensky announces right before an in class writing that this should be your best essay yet and that she wants to see all A’s on this essay. But, if you deal with the pressure and write as well as you can, everything will turn out fine.

8. Feeling of accomplishment. The feeling of accomplishment as you hand Mrs. Lewis your AP Test Booklet at the end of the AP English 12 exam is impossible to describe. It’s when it all makes sense, really. The hard work, the dedication you put in the last semester of AP English as you were battling that well-known illness called senioritis, has finally paid off. This feeling of joy and accomplishment is a definite reason to take AP English.

9. Lollipops and a story. As documented in one of my blogs a few weeks ago, my favorite day of AP English 12 was when we all sat in a circle (Ms. Serensky included), Ms. Serensky kindly gave us all lollipops and told us how she became the teacher she is today. Her story not only answered numerous questions I had about why she is the way she is, but also motivated me to work as hard as I possibly can and emphasized to me, that with hard work and dedication, anything is possible. Getting to hear Ms. Serensky’s story is a definite reason to embark on the two-year journey of AP English.

10. Writing skills. Ms. Serensky’s method of teaching is amazing. Within a few weeks, you will be writing noticeably better than your friends in Honors English. Additionally, Ms. Serensky teaches you how to write faster, more clearly and more intelligently. In AP English you will gain the writing skills which, hopefully, will make college much easier. 

Best of all, you get to embrace your inner nerd-self!

The Creepers at the Rec

May 5, 2011: As students settle into their assigned seats for the AP English Literature and Composition Exam, Ashima, Lane and Iago unload from a white panel van and peer into the frosted windows of the Rec Center.

Ashima: '"What’s taking so long?"' (Lahiri 290)

Lane: "I didn’t think it polite to [watch or] listen" (Wilde 1).

Ashima: '"[She] doesn’t speak much of anything, at the moment"' (Lahiri 45).

The students begin the AP Exam and Ashima and Iago focus intently on Emily’s attitude and performance. Lane, a bit reserved, stands back a few feet.

Iago: "I see this hath a little dashed [her] sprits" (Shakespeare 3.3.13).

Lane: "I attribute it to the superior quality of the [test], sir" (Wilde 1).

Iago: "Quick, quick! [She] fear[s] nothing" (Shakespeare 5.1.3).

Lane: "I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir" (Wilde 1).

Iago: "She is of/so free, so kind, so apt, so blessed a disposition she/holds it… in her goodness… to do more than/she is requested" (Shakespeare 2.3.319-322).

Ashima: '"This is no time for books"' (Lahiri 290).

Iago: "What you know, you know" (Shakespeare 5.2.299).

Lane: "Yes, sir" (Wilde 1)

Iago: "O, that’s well said" (Shakespeare 5.1.98).

Lane: "Thank you, sir" (Wilde 2).

Iago: "For sure [she] fills it up with great ability" (Shakespeare 3.3.247).

Ashima: "'Next year at this time [she’ll] be so far away"' (Lahiri 287).

Iago: "Ay, there’s the point" (Shakespeare 3.3.228).

Ashima [as the test concludes]: '"Now [she] will be on [her] own"' (Lahiri 147).

Nervous Nelly the Narrator Enjoys Oscar Wilde's Play

Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, for me, trumps all other books we have read this year in AP English 12. When Ms. Serensky announced that our next book, following Everything Matters, would be a play, I became slightly apprehensive. I pictured The Importance of Being Earnest as similar to Othello, but thankfully I was wrong. Everyday that we read The Importance of Being Earnest, I left English class more light-hearted than when I had entered the room. When Ms. Serensky said aloud that she thought I should be the narrator, I sunk nervously in my seat and thought to myself, “Good Heavens” (1). I believed that my ability to read aloud was not up to par with the rest of my classmates’ but “one doesn’t blurt these things out to people” so I accepted the role with fake confidence (16). After the first day of reading, I realized that I not only enjoyed the plot of the play but also had fun participating through reading in class.  So the next day, I actually volunteered for the role of the narrator. To most people reading short, emotionless fragments “does not thrill. It produces absolutely no vibrations” but for some reason I thoroughly enjoyed filling the role of the detached narrator and reading the unemotional sentences and stage directions (11). When I say this, I realize how boring and empty my life sounds. Shoot. Now I sound like Ms. Serensky when she described a tasty a snack: “When I bit into the pretzel, it was filled with pumpkin pie filling. That was one of the greatest surprises of my life. I realize when I say these things, how pathetic my life sounds.” Anyway, I am sure that I enjoyed The Importance of Being Earnest because of my active involvement. Playing the roll of the narrator helped me to feel immersed in the characters’ lives and their absurd, yet comical problems. Certainly the satire throughout the entire play added to my enjoyment as well. It seems in most of the books we have read this year that there has been some sort of disaster that causes the characters terrific grief. Although in this book Jack had an issue regarding his name, overall The Importance of Being Earnest seemed lighter and easier to read than other readings we have had which contained emotional or depressing moments. Alex’s intense British accent also enhanced my interest in the play. If he had read the part of Algernon in a monotone, unemotional voice (much like me, the narrator) I would not have enjoyed the play nearly as much.  John’s constant switching of accents every other syllable also helped me to enjoy the play. Although I firmly believe that the content of the book and reading styles of the characters in our class added to my enjoyment of The Importance of Being Earnest, I believe I found most of my interest in this play because it taught me a lot about myself. As I venture to college, I am sure I will be faced with obstacles that I am not prepared to tackle, much like my unpreparedness and apprehension about the role of the narrator. However, I learned through this book, that my abilities exceed my self-confidence and that I can actually do more than I think I can. From now on, I will have less apprehension and less anxiety when reading aloud to a group as I realized that although I may be able to find flaws in my reading skills, I can get the task accomplished and also enjoy myself at the same time. 

Top Ten Most Thrilling Academic Moments of My High School Career

Throughout my four years of high school, I have experienced many academic moments that I am certain I will remember for years to come.

1. College Acceptances- When I received all of my college decisions, I was excited to learn that I had been accepted at all of the schools I considered attending.  My mom soon informed me that if they “Fill[ed] thy purse with money” and I could go anywhere I desired (Shakespeare 1.3.344). I felt quite satisfied to know that my dedication to academics throughout high school had finally reaped rewards.

2. Letter of Commendation- When I was first called down to the office last year, I panicked. I wondered what I had done wrong to have been summoned out of AP Physics. When Mr. Rydquist informed the other nine students around me and myself that we had awarded letters of commendation for National Merit, I was thrilled. Mr. May instructed us to line the stairs for a quick picture. However, after five minutes of waiting, Mr. May had yet to find his camera. We all wondered, ‘“where is the camera? What’s taking so long?” (Lahiri 290).

3. Cum Laude- When I received my letter of induction into Cum Laude I reflected upon all of my hard work throughout high school and became excited as I realized that “it isn’t easy to be anything now-a-days” (Wilde 7) My hard work and dedication had finally paid off.

4. MC Game- The Multiple Choice Game at the end of third quarter ranks high on the list of academic memories I will never forget. My team, comprised of Cat Cashy, Sarah Ross, Kaleigh O’Hara and me, defeat the self-proclaimed “Dream Team.” I felt quite accomplished leaving class that morning as, before the actual game I had doubted our team’s success when Kaleigh and Sarah disagreed on numerous questions; “They argue[d] violently about such things” (Lahiri 107).

5. Othello Data Sheet- Once again, Ms. Serensky’s stickers  excite me. Even after spending countless hours perfecting my first data sheet, I worried I had done everything wrong. My fears did not settle until I received my graded Data Sheet with the biggest sticker I have ever seen at the top of the 18-page stack. I questioned, “Is’t possible?” (Shakespeare 4.1.44). After the shock passed, the excitement settled in as I then realized I had truly achieved something.

6. First sticker in AP English-I will always remember receiving my first sticker ever in AP English 11. When I glanced down at the paper before me, “I felt there was some slight error” (Wilde 39). “Surely, Ms. Serensky had accidentally placed the sticker on my paper” I thought to myself. I never believed I would write a paper deserving of one of Ms. Serensky’s special stickers. I could not have been happier than on that memorable day.

7. Baby Bio Lap Report- I felt truly accomplished when I received my graded Fruit Fly Report in freshman year biology. When I turned to the last page in the report to see my score, I noticed Mr. Ricci’s not so subtle note, in bright red pen, at the top of my paper, “Master of ALL Biological Knowledge!” Although “one does not blurt these things out to people,” I felt a true sense of pride and accomplishment in my work (Wilde 17).

8. Summer Reading essays-Another thrilling moment of my academic career at CFHS occurred in the first week of senior year. I thought I had done a horrible job on my in class writing for one of our summer reading books, but apparently that was not the case. After completing that writing, however, I fretted for days. I am not sure what I thought the worrying would do, since I had already submitted the paper and the damage was done, but I worried anyway. I reminded myself, “Do not weep, do not weep” (Shakespeare 4.2.123). I was thrilled when Ms. Serensky handed back the papers and I saw the light reflect off of a bright sticker at the top of my paper.

9. Senior year midterms- I was quite enthralled when this year I did better on my midterms than I had done any other year of high school. One would think that my scores would naturally rise as the “comforts should increase/…as [my] days do grow” in school but I have experienced the opposite effect (Shakespeare 2.1.192-193). Each year, instead of feeling less overwhelmed and more in control for the midterms, I panic as I try to study the complicated and vast information I have learned in half a semester.

10. AP Physics-  As I think back on my experiences in AP Physics one day in particular comes to mind, the day I received a 100% on one of our unit tests. As the days grew closer to the AP test, I felt less and less confident in my understanding of the material. Yet, when I got received our last unit test with a 100% circled at the top, my confidence soared. I gasped, stunned, “as if it were something truly extraordinary” (Lahiri 265). 

My most memorable sticker from Ms. Serensky

Nostalgia and Anticipation in the Laundry Room

Of all of the poems we read this year, I have most enjoyed Elisavietta Ritchie’s “Sorting Laundry.” Ritchie’s listing of mundane household items intrigues me as she manages to clearly describe the speaker’s emotions and feelings through detailing the speaker’s actions and detritus while folding laundry. I appreciated this poem because I felt that I had the ability to relate to the speaker. Often, while completing the essentially mindless task of doing laundry, I catch myself thinking of the future, which in turn generates a small degree of anxiety. Like the speaker in Ritchie’s poem, I contemplate relationships and the future. While folding my parents’ clothes, I think about leaving my family and starting a new life at college and, like Ritchie, I become slightly apprehensive and nostalgic. Before reading this poem, "I would never have thought that" sorting and folding laundry could trigger memories and elicit so many emotions, but now I realize that sorting laundry often has this effect on me as well (Lahiri 138). As Ritchie concludes the poem, the speaker notes that even "a mountain of unsorted wash/could not fill/the empty side of the bed" (Ritchie 49-51). This vivid depiction of loneliness and dependence caught my attention as "It is an impulse…[I] have never felt, this need to be so [close to] things," to people (Lahiri 155). After reading this poem, I realized that at times, I have definitely taken many people in my life for granted. I have never really contemplated the idea of one day waking up and hearing that my parents or my close friends are no longer alive; '"That’s so depressing"' (Lahiri 138).  I have begun to cherish each day I have with my family and friends as I have realized, like the speaker in Ritchie’s poem, that it could be the last. Predicting when someone will enter or leave your life is as unpredictable as death, so, I must appreciate the time I have with those I care about most. Ritchie’s poem, through its uniqueness, its vivid portrayal of emotions, and its life lessons, has caused me to consider it my favorite poem we read in AP English 12. 

Lollipops in AP English?

In one of my earlier blog entries, I asked, “Why is Ms. Serensky the way she is? Does she teach like her high school English teacher?” When Ms. Serensky mentioned that blog entry on the Blog Banter, she said that she would answer my questions in a special discussion before the end of the semester. My curiosity peaked and I eagerly a waited the day when I would learn about the origins of Ms. Serenesky’s methods of madness. Finally, the day arrived. As Hayden and I walked up the stairs from AP Probability and Statistics, I mentioned my excitement and anticipation for English class. My news to Hayden, who had apparently forgotten about the special discussion and who clearly had not waited weeks to hear Ms. Serensky’s stories, did “not thrill [her]. It produce[d] absolutely no vibrations” (Wilde 11). As I walked into English class later that day, I saw the desks in a condensed circle. I immediately sat down and, with a sigh of relief, put all my notebooks and my pens away in my backpack and stared at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring. After Ms. Serensky joined the circle of desks, she circulated a bag full of assorted lollipops. “This cannot be,” I thought to myself (Shakespeare 1.3.17). I could not believe that Ms. Serensky was actually distributing candy during class. The bag was slowly passed around the circle with happiness and excitement building as it traveled. Finally the bag reached my seat. I peered inside and noticed the assortment of lollipops. So many choices! As I indulged in the choices before me and as my peers became distracted as they unwrapped their lollipops, Ms. Serensky explained the purpose behind the candy. She gave us lollipops so that we would stick them in our mouths and therefore not be able to interrupt or talk during her story. She also had intended for the lollipops to keep us somewhat focused on the story, but clearly that had failed. I picked out my lollipop and tuned in. I could tell that “she knows the story” well and that she has told it many times (Lahiri 28). Immediately I recognized parallels between my journey through AP English and Ms. Serensky’s experiences in college English. Much like my response to my first AP English 11 essay, Ms. Serensky described her feelings of defeat, anger, and sadness after receiving her first graded paper in college. As she explained her eventual acceptance of struggle on this paper and recognized that with her marked up paper she could learn more and develop into a better writer, I became highly motivated. This motivation increased as Ms. Serensky detailed how her hard work and effort paid off as she finally received the recognition that she craved from her professor. From listening to her empowering story, I realized that there is much more to assignments and work than a grade. I realized I can use assignments as learning tools, to help me become a better writer and a smarter person. Ms. Serensky’s story also emphasized to me that with hard work and many years of dedication, I can achieve that to which I put my attention. The lessons I learned from Ms. Serensky’s story have helped me significantly to “battle” senioritis as, on my favorite day in AP English 12, I learned the true importance off knowledge and determination.

Concerned Chasuble Confronts Cassio

Scene- Cassio strolls the streets after watching a brawl between two gentlemen

Chasuble: [Running towards Cassio] Cassio!

Cassio: Good Chasuble, what brings thee here tonight? Come for a fight?

Chasuble: No, I came to speak to you sir about a certain lady, Miss Prism.

Cassio: “Not tonight, good” Chasuble (Shakespeare 2.3.31). I am quite busy.

Chasuble: Cassio, please help me! We have a walked planned later today and I need some urgent advice.

Cassio: Fine, “I’ll do’t, but it dislikes me” (Shakespeare 2.3.45). Now speak of this urgent matter.

Chasuble: I must confess my feelings for her. I met her yesterday and… I fell in love.

Cassio: Indeed, indeed. “She’s a most exquisite lady” (Shakespeare 2.3.18).

Chasuble: Exactly! If “I [were] fortunate enough to be Miss Prism’s pupil, I would hang upon her lips…metaphorically” speaking (Wilde 23).

Cassio: Chasuble! Speak in phrases I mig’t understand. Thou makest everything more complicated with metaphors.

Chasuble: Oh no! What if I confuse Miss Prism as well? She may not love me now!

Cassio: Oh Chasuble, you worry too much. Speak your mind to her at once.

Chasuble: I fear that “I’m gonna get real weird with it” and some how offend her with my choice of words. And if I do, then she might only walk with me “as far as the schools and back” (Wilde 23).

Cassio: Fear not, Chasuble. I promise she is not a fresh and delicate creature. Go now. Hurry off.

[Exit Cassio]

Chasuble: But…but… but…Cassio, I don’t know what to say!

[Exit Chasuble, muttering and biting his nails in a panic]

Anxious Chasuble talks with Cassio

Moushumi's Miserable Monday

Dear Diary,

            Today, while wandering the halls of Chagrin Falls High School, I noticed a very quiet classroom.  In all of the other rooms I heard teachers lecturing or saw students loudly "discussing" in groups. I could detect however, a difference in this class.  I listened from my position, unnoticed, amazed when I heard only one student talking at a time (for the most part). I considered continuing my stroll down the hall when I heard the students in the classroom reflecting on the movie "The Namesake." I thought to myself, '"you can’t be serious"' (237). I leaned closer to the door in an attempt to hear the students’ thoughts. Wow, that evolved into a shocking experience!  I heard one student loudly criticize the movie as extremely cheesy especially the representation of Moushumi. Another agreed and commented that not only was Moushumi an odd, unrealistic character in the movie, but also was a very frustrating character in the book. My rage began to build. How dare these students criticize me, when they have no way to know I felt throughout my entire marriage? I understand that cheating violates people’s values but what could I do?  When we got married, I honestly had no intention of hurting or leaving Gogol. But after a while, things with Gogol just did not feel right. Angry about the students’ criticism of my behavior, I slowly turned the doorknob and walked into the room. As I opened the door I saw a student “strip” before me. This student, whose name I later learned to be Jimmy, then innocently, looked at the teacher and mumbled, "Sorry, it was really hot.” Impulsively I blurted out, '"I agree"' (249).  Immediately everyone in the room starred at me in disbelief. Clearly I had failed at my attempt at inconspicuousness. Derogatory remarks flew at me from all directions. I found it quite astonishing that these young students felt the need to criticize my choice to have an affair when not one of them has ever been in an adult relationship yet alone a marriage, but I kept my mouth shut, still reeling from Jimmy’s indecent exposure. After three or so minutes of relentless condemnation regarding my marriage, I lost my cool. I yelled, rather loudly, '"It [was just] not what I thought it would be"' (252). Embarrassed by the scene I created I ran out of the room, went home and began to write. Scared and emotionally scarred by a student’s stripping, angry about the class’s constant criticism and sad about the disapproval of my appearance in the film, I hope that tomorrow is a better day. I don’t know how it could be much worse.

Until tomorrow,

Moushumi 

See, my relationship with Gogol even looked awkward!

Gogol's Journey Through AP English 11

The following is a conversation between Gogol, a student in AP English 11 and me, a psychologist. 

August 2009, two weeks before school starts:

E: Hi Gogol, what brings you into my office today?

G: Hey Dr. Hellwig. I am just really nervous about school starting and hoped that talking to you might reduce some of my anxiety.

E: Oh, okay. I am always here to help. What makes you so anxious about junior year?

G: I am not really sure, to be honest. I guess I am nervous about AP English 11. I have heard the workload is quite intense and I am worried that I will not be able to handle the course.

E: Gogol, you write very well. You have nothing to worry about. As long as you work hard, and do your best, I am confident that you will be able to handle the assignments and succeed in the class. Just be open to new ideas and writing styles. I have heard from former clients that Ms. Serensky really teaches you how to write.

G: Oh really? I want to pursue some English-related major in college I think but have never thought my writing was good enough. Hopefully this class will help my writing skills and boost my confidence.

E: I am glad you are excited about the class now, and less apprehensive. Let’s plan to meet in a few months. I cannot wait to hear about your AP English 11 experience.

October 2009:

G: Hey Dr. Hellwig!

E: Hi, Gogol. So let me hear all about it. How is junior year and how is AP English 11?

G: Junior year is so much better than sophomore year! I love my teachers and am actually interested in most of the subject matter. AP English 11 has become one of my favorite classes. I loved the last book Ms. Serensky chose for us to read.

E: That’s wonderful, so glad to hear it! What book did you read?

G: We read Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl. Most of my classmates did not enjoy reading it though, “They complain about the story, saying that it [was] too long. They complain that it was hard to get through” (92). But, I really enjoyed it. I learned a lot about the horribly harsh conditions of slavery and, on the English side of things, learned the difference between “empathy” and “sympathy.”

E: I am so pleased that it has been a good experience.

G: In just two months I have already learned so much. I have a newfound appreciation for reading. I was somewhat excited when Ms. Serensky passed out our new books today, but apparently my classmates didn’t feel the same way, “the class…beg[an] to moan in unison” (92). Although taking intense notes and analyzing the text is never easy or fun, I have realized that these skills will pay off later.

E: You are most certainly right. These skills Ms. Serensky teaches you will not only help you to excel on the AP English 11 test and prepare you for AP English 12 but also prepare you for college. It was great to hear about your English experience so far. I am sure things will continue to work out well for you, just keep up your hard work. I look forward to our next appointment.

June 2010:

E: Well, Gogol, the summer is almost here! Now you can reflect on your AP English 11 experience and prepare for AP English 12.

G: I know. I am so excited for summer but I will surely miss the time I spent studying  “every night after dinner, and the nocturnal schedule” to which I had been accustomed (107). Partially due to AP English, I have stayed up much later this year than I did sophomore year. I know it is my fault that I save my English assignments till late at night. Hopefully I can improve on that next year in AP English 12.

E: I am sure that whatever you want to achieve, you can, as long as you set your mind to it.

G: I certainly will try. I am so thankful Dr. Hellwig, that you convinced me to stay enrolled in AP English 11. Although it was stressful at times, and not always enjoyable, I am very glad I took the class. I can already tell that my writing skills have improved dramatically. I have realized that, in fact, I am a fairly good writer and have the intelligence to write well, regardless of the assignment. I learned through graded discussions, that it is important to be assertive as well as a quick thinker. I look forward to AP English 12, and the additional knowledge that Ms. Serensky will bestow upon me.

Gogol's first week in AP English 11

The Constant Compulsion to Criticize

Since the conclusion of the basketball season, I have found myself with a few extra hours each night. To fill these hours, I have entertained myself by watching daily NCAA division one women’s basketball games. It was tonight, as I watched the Big East Championship game, when the announcers really started to bother me. Maya Moore, starting forward for the UConn Huskies, an Academic All-American, Big East Player of the Year, and Scholar Athlete of the Year, had an unfortunate game two nights ago, when, instead of scoring her expected 24.7 points a game, she scored only a basket or two the entire game. The next night, however, Maya exceeded her average, scoring 17 points in the first half alone. During tonight’s Championship game, the announcers evidently felt a need, each time Maya shot the ball, to mention her low-scoring game two nights ago. They paid little attention to her current accomplishments, leading the entire game in field goals, blocks and steals, but instead conversed about her “shockingly low scoring game” when she “shot the worst she has shot all season.” The announcers then decided to debate “who is better, Diana Taurasi (former UConn player) or Maya Moore?” I am still unsure as to why they need to compare two excellent basketball players with the inevitable conclusion of downplaying one’s skills and efforts. Playing different years, each woman assisted her team while breaking individual records. Why must the announcers decide which player was better? As the announcers perseverated on Maya’s one low scoring game and searched for faults in both Maya and Diana, it reminded me of the way we tend to point out the flaws of certain characters during class discussions, and then continue to bash these characters and emphasize their flaws for the remainder of the period, until Ms. Serensky highlights our unrealistic expectations. I am left to wonder why members of society seem to feel a need and a desire to disparage and criticize one another. Why must one person be “better” than another? Did we not learn in kindergarten that we have differences and that we must appreciate our individual uniqueness? I feel that if people stopped searching for faults in others, and instead focused on each individual’s talents and strengths, the world might be a happier and more peaceful place. 

Maya Moore and Diana Taurasi

Daydreams, Doubts and Delights

As I changed the date on the heading of my SOAPSTone from February to March, it hit me. Whenever I hear or see anything relating to the month of March, my mind immediately flips to Spring Break. I become disinterested in the conversation at hand and begin to fantasize about what fun excursions my family will find for the upcoming trip. I flash back to previous vacations and relive the joyful and exciting moments. I create a mental list of places I hope my family will go to eat, destinations I hope my family will visit and activities I hope my family will enjoy. However, today, when typing out March 1, instead of thinking about Spring Break, I realized that this March will be different than the past 12 months of March. It dawned on me that this is March of senior year. In six months I will be in college. I soon became sad that this vacation would be my last high school vacation with my family. I guess, having only having one child, my parents can still plan vacation for my Spring Breaks in college, but something about that does not seem the same. When I think of a high school vacation, I think of teens, young adults, hanging out with friends and family and relaxing. A college Spring Break seems to me to sound so much more formal, stressful and less fun. As my stomach churned, the word “college” caused mixed feelings. At first I became excited, thrilled at the idea of meeting new people, yet remaining in close contact with high school friends. Creating more independence from my parents certainly does not sound half bad either. I also cannot wait to experience city life, surrounded by unique and culturally diverse people. Unfortunately, these happy feelings quickly passed as I soon became anxious. I began to fret about meaningless “fears.” I began to wonder if the distance between my future “home” for the next four to five years would end up being too far from my actual home and family. I began to second guess myself: “Did I apply to the right schools? Will I have enough schools to choose from? Have I applied to the right college within the larger Universities?” Eventually these unsettling thoughts subsided as I again as I remembered what my camp counselor told me at the end of camp this past summer, “it’s not the real end; it’s just the end of a chapter. The best is yet to be!”

Spring Break '09